I loved that feeling when we were laying in bed, and I felt like I couldn’t get close enough to you, and without saying anything to you, you somehow knew how I felt and would pull me even closer to you, and hold me there for a while. I can’t wait to find someone like you.
I miss you more and more now that I have nothing to do but lay in bed in the same spot we laid not too long ago.
I was asked today, “If you could have anyone walk through the door right now who would it be?” And I couldn’t think of anyone else but you.
I wish I could just meet another boy who will change my life like you did. I didn’t know one could have such an impression on me in such a sort span of time.
I’m waiting for the day when every song lyric doesn’t make me think of you, when I won’t pick a book up and remember something you said, when I will watch movies not because you liked them, but because I actually wanted to see them.
Until then, my days are filled with thoughts of you.
After all this time, I am finally able to see your flaws. At least, two of them. Some of your music taste is shitty. Most of it is amazing, but really, some of the stuff you listen to is crap. Especially when you defended The Killers.
You never listen to me. You were always too busy talking about yourself. hopefully this means that I’ll be over you soon. Half of me thinks if I never get your letter it would be better.
Things that we never ever talked about remind me of you. It’s unfair. I’m tired of checking the mail. When will this be over?
I know when. When I find someone else, someone new. And if that doesn’t happen by december, I don’t even want to think about the pain I’m going to have to go through again.
I just read Chapter 1 of He’s Just Not That Into You and realized that you might actually be interested in me. Or at least, you were, when you were here. This makes it so much harder to get over you.
EDIT: I realize this post makes me incredibly pathetic, for many many reasons.
I’m sick of Gays, Girls, and Guys with Girlfriends telling me I’m great and I deserve a good guy. Can’t they see I don’t have a good guy, I will never get a good guy, and they are wrong when they think any good guy would want me?
For being that boy I long to have.
Fuck Wisconsin.
Please tell me what I want to hear in that letter you send me.
I need this.
I don’t know how to get rid of this overwhelming feeling of attraction for you.
“You want to know what happiness is? It’s waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone’s shoulder but their own. You smile and kiss their face gently before turning back around and somehow, an involuntary grin forms on your face. Just before you drift off to sleep, you feel an arm wrap around your waist and you know it doesn’t get any better than this.”
The worst part about it, is that you could care less about me I’m sure. Really, I think that if we never met it would mean nothing to you. You say you are so glad you met me but I think all you wanted was to hook up. Thanks for being the first to break my heart, I think you should be proud.
He’s gone. I’m still here. He has everything going for him and I have nothing, I’m stuck in the same shitty routine I was in before I met him. He was my ticket out of the monotony. He gave me something to look forward to, and now he’s been taken away just as fast and spectacular as he came, without warning. All I have left is to become as small as I can until he returns, and hope that he hasn’t found anyone new to dazzle. His letters won’t come fast enough, and i’ll obsess over all the girls who get to have him at that far away school. This will be my new routine, not eating and checking the mail, hoping that by some miracle when he returns he will still want me as much as I long to have him.
I just want you to stay. I want to go back to the beginning of summer, find you, and spend the entire summer with you. Why did I meet you only two weeks ago? I want to cry but nothing will come out. Every moment spent with you made it that much harder to say goodbye last night. I won’t forget the smell of coffee mixed with cigarettes, and the way your mustache scratched my top lip. Or the way you kissed my cheek when you wanted to kiss me during a movie. I wouldn’t trade these past two weeks for anything, and I’ll look for your letter everyday.
I love how you so accurately fit the “plays hard to get correctly” part of my “wish list.” You take a while to respond and then when the conversation gets interesting you reply back fast, it makes me smile. You are so adorable, I can’t believe we met.
The guy I am willing to date, the one I won’t turn away, and he is moving halfway across the country in a week and a half. Is this why I’m letting myself get attached? Because I know he won’t be around for long? It’s so frustrating, but so exciting at the same time. I now know that there are actually guys out there that I consider good guys.
I still get excited when I see you, but I miss those butterflies you used to give me. It’s not the same.
