September 2009
7 posts
I loved that feeling when we were laying in bed, and I felt like I couldn’t get close enough to you, and without saying anything to you, you somehow knew how I felt and would pull me even closer to you, and hold me there for a while. I can’t wait to find someone like you.
I miss you more and more now that I have nothing to do but lay in bed in the same spot we laid not too long ago.
I was asked today, “If you could have anyone walk through the door right now who would it be?” And I couldn’t think of anyone else but you.
I wish I could just meet another boy who will change my life like you did. I didn’t know one could have such an...
After all this time, I am finally able to see your flaws. At least, two of them. Some of your music taste is shitty. Most of it is amazing, but really, some of the stuff you listen to is crap. Especially when you defended The Killers.
You never listen to me. You were always too busy talking about yourself. hopefully this means that I’ll be over you soon. Half of me thinks if I never get...
Things that we never ever talked about remind me of you. It’s unfair. I’m tired of checking the mail. When will this be over?
I know when. When I find someone else, someone new. And if that doesn’t happen by december, I don’t even want to think about the pain I’m going to have to go through again.
I can't wait for the day when I don't stop and...
Fuck.
I just read Chapter 1 of He’s Just Not That Into You and realized that you might actually be interested in me. Or at least, you were, when you were here. This makes it so much harder to get over you.
EDIT: I realize this post makes me incredibly pathetic, for many many reasons.
I’m sick of Gays, Girls, and Guys with Girlfriends telling me I’m great and I deserve a good guy. Can’t they see I don’t have a good guy, I will never get a good guy, and they are wrong when they think any good guy would want me?
August 2009
11 posts
Fuck you.
For being that boy I long to have.
Fuck Wisconsin.
Please tell me what I want to hear in that letter you send me.
I need this.
I don’t know how to get rid of this overwhelming feeling of attraction for you.
“You want to know what happiness is? It’s waking up in the middle of the night...”
– (via runawaytrain:popquizkid2006)
: /
(via cuntrocket)
shit.
The worst part about it, is that you could care less about me I’m sure. Really, I think that if we never met it would mean nothing to you. You say you are so glad you met me but I think all you wanted was to hook up. Thanks for being the first to break my heart, I think you should be proud.
He’s gone. I’m still here. He has everything going for him and I have nothing, I’m stuck in the same shitty routine I was in before I met him. He was my ticket out of the monotony. He gave me something to look forward to, and now he’s been taken away just as fast and spectacular as he came, without warning. All I have left is to become as small as I can until he returns,...
I just want you to stay. I want to go back to the beginning of summer, find you, and spend the entire summer with you. Why did I meet you only two weeks ago? I want to cry but nothing will come out. Every moment spent with you made it that much harder to say goodbye last night. I won’t forget the smell of coffee mixed with cigarettes, and the way your mustache scratched my top lip. Or the...
Most of all,
I love how you so accurately fit the “plays hard to get correctly” part of my “wish list.” You take a while to respond and then when the conversation gets interesting you reply back fast, it makes me smile. You are so adorable, I can’t believe we met.
I finally met him.
The guy I am willing to date, the one I won’t turn away, and he is moving halfway across the country in a week and a half. Is this why I’m letting myself get attached? Because I know he won’t be around for long? It’s so frustrating, but so exciting at the same time. I now know that there are actually guys out there that I consider good guys.
I still get excited when I see you, but I miss those butterflies you used to give me. It’s not the same.
I miss that boy who said he loved my nose. I know I said I was over you, but I know I’m not, especially because I hope that every time another boy says something to me I hope you get jealous, even though I know you don’t. It was too hard to play your game, I liked you to much to pretend to push you away. I guess it’s for the best. We will only know later.
I smoked weed for the first time the other day. My friend who smoked with my didn’t get high and I was pretty bummed. I sort of regret it just like I regret having that drink at my aunt’s wedding.
You shaved off your mustache. Oddly I started getting over you before that. Thankfully. I guess you lost interest just at the right time. But there is still a part of me that will forever like you.
I found out that there is a huge possibility you are single right now. But you are moving. I would give anything for you to give me a chance. But it won’t happen, I will always be too scared to...
July 2009
40 posts
I found out he is moving to San Fransico this Fall yesterday. Part of me wants to try my best to make an impression now, the other part of me doesn’t care, because I still think the one who lives across the country is the one for me anyways. I wish he wanted me like I want him. I really can’t say no to you, I truly meant that.
“I never thought it would be this hard to get boyfriends.”
– my best friend. never said a truer sentence in her life.
dear mister m.
I wish I could say that today, when we drew each other pictures, wasn’t the best part of my day. But it was. I’m addicted to the feeling you give my stomach. I know this means nothing to you, and I’m okay with that.
Whenever it takes me a while to resond to something you said it’s because I’m trying to think of the perfect thing to say, I don’t want to say...
Things I wish I could say.
- I’m a completely different person than you think I am, but you’re too fucking selfish to ever see that.
- Can’t you see how terrified I am of losing you?
- She’s right. Sometimes I can’t bear to listen to songs that remind me of you because it hurts too much. Funny how it only hurts after I find out you’ve found another girl to give you her heart.
- I am so...
I wish I could be more to him.
I’m a big, fat, chicken. Why does it have to matter what he thinks?
I wish my dad would just leave me alone and let me make my own decisions. And if only he knew that everytime he approves of something I do it makes me want to take it all back.
You’re my “best guy friend” I love you and am so happy I know you, I wouldn’t trade you for the world. Sometimes, I just wish we shared the same music taste. It would just make us so much closer, seeing as how important music is to me. I feel bad for wishing this, but really, I think we would be so much closer if we shared even just a little bit of the same taste in that...
I’ve made out with a guy once. The whole time I was so worried I was doing everything wrong. I didn’t enjoy it. Then again, I didn’t care for the guy, I was just using him for practice.
I get this ridiculous happy feeling when a cute boy pays any attention to me. Not like I would ever try to get their attention. I think thats why I get so happy, because they really wanted to talk to me, not because of something I did or said, but because they were legitimately interested. I could never tell anyone this, I would seem like an arrogant bitch.
I need to stop falling for the boys I clearly don’t deserve.
It’s getting kind of hard to not fall for you. And I’m getting nervous you’re already over me. I bring this upon myself, every time, with every guy.
I’ve tried so hard to not try hard to impress you.
NICK:
I don’t want to hang out with you tonight, or any other night again. I’m sorry if that night meant more to you than it did to me, but from what I could tell, it didn’t mean anything to you either. So stop treating me like some skank you can call anytime you want to make out. I’m not like that.
I’ve become exactly what I despise, a music snob.
Is it wrong if I think I would definitely like him less if he shaved his mustache off?
Today, I realized I’ve been going through life with my eyes closed half the time, trapped in my own thoughts. That changes now.
I need to stop meeting guys this way, it never works out.
“There’s a tiny door in my office, Maxine. It’s a portal and it takes you inside...”
– Being John Malkovich (via tdylan)
I didn’t care for this movie much.
Summer Skin.
Tonight I’m going out with friends who I haven’t seen in a long time.
But really, I’d rather stay home and talk with you, whom I have never met.
Damn, I need to get my priorities straight.
Especially because I know you don’t feel the same toward me, I’m just something fun to do when you’re bored. You’re someone who showed me a whole other side to...
no no no no no.
I love your cheesy pick up lines and the way you are bluntly honest. I love the way you are nervous to send me something cute.
please don’t let me get hurt. I always take these things too seriously.
why do you have to live so damn far away?
Shit.
seriously? you’re mad about that? god I hope I didn’t ruin this. please tell me we didn’t just fight about tartar sauce and pickles. and then you left. i could hit myself right now. my fat mouth.
Please don't leave me hanging, this was one of my...
Mustache: you're cute. im totally glad one of your interests are mustaches. IM TOTALLY IN!
Me: you're definitely the cute one, with your mustache! what do you mean, you're in?
Mustache: im totally your type!
Me: Well you seem to be very sure about that, great facial hair isn't everything! haha
Mustache: you broke my heart. i'll never be the same. life, it's ruined.
Me: oops. that wasn't what I meant to do. how about we start over?
Mustache: hi im ____ :)
Me: hi ____ you have a very nice mustache, i'm ____ (:
Mustache: you're a cutie. do you flirt via aim? i prefer it. its much faster!
Thank you!! For ignoring me all this time, and then being an asshole once we start to talk again. Thank you. No sarcasm intended. This is making it so much easier to let you go. I hope she isn’t hurt by you like I was. Even if she is a bitch, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
What the HELL is wrong with me?
Anytime a guy starts to get close to me, I start to think that they only are being nice out of charity, or they are going to play a joke on me and make me out to be the fool. Why can’t I just accept affection? I won’t let this ruin my life.
What if I never get to be in that relationship? The one where he plays guitar and I sing with him and when he surfs really early in the morning I bring him a warm towel and coffee for when he gets out of the water. The one where we drive for hours going no where and once we stop we end up finding the perfect spot. I fear so much that I will never get the chance to share these moments with. I...
